source: http://artfreaksew16.deviantart.com/art/Christmas-Carol-Poster-design-407320080
Part 1
So this heat made my drowsy eyes unable to succumb to sleep. The temperature adds to the burden of not being able to rest. So here I am left with nothing to do but to combat the atmosphere or think of something better.
In the play "A Christmas Carol" Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by three ghosts: Past, Present and Future. I was able to participate in a production directed by my classmate (King) in high school as our project in English. I was the person in charge of props while the main actor did one hell of a job portraying the role. Impressed until now! It was one of the event in my young days wherein I can say, I'm proud. Since, I got nothing else to do let me visit the past, present and future. My Christmas Carol!
Christmas Past
We are not rich. Yes, I grew up as an OFW kid. I had the latest and greatest stuff. But my mom kept reminding me, "we are not rich". "We have nothing son!" I got used to this that frankly I got pissed and doubting since everyone is saying that my father has a good and high paying job. Well, yes! I live in a comfortable home with three meals a day. I studied in a public school during my elementary, a seminary in high school and college. But I never felt rich. Perhaps it was just merely the perception of people around us. I worked my butt off just like any regular kid. I got used to a Christmas without my father. Frankly, it was fine. It never bothered me. Mom always filled up his role in the family. There were times when he was there. I remember those. I remember because he would allow us to buy firecrackers for the new year. Mom always said, "No firecrackers if your father is not here, it is not safe". Hmm! Me and third brother would always find a way to buy. The only difference is when "tatay" is around he buys it and we do not spend our Christmas money.
I miss those Christmas. I miss the whole family being together. My Most memorable of all was when everyone from my mother side spent the Christmas together. I could never forget it. It was fun to see my aunts and cousins. It was fun being a child at that time. Writing about it even makes me smile to this day. It was never the food that I remember but the people, my aunts and uncles drinking being happy with my grandfather and mother. It was the smiles that beamed on their cheeks. Their red faces when they laugh. I know my mother was very happy. I was. It was fun being with relatives. It is something that I definitely want to go back to.
My Christmas past were never memories of lechon, cakes, etc. What I remember was the smile, the joy and indescribable feeling of warmth in being with your loved ones. It is the joy of being together being one, being a family.
Looking back, I long for those Christmas. I long to be in the table with my aunts, uncles, grandfather and mother but most specially my mother. How I wish I can visit this part of my past to witness it like a child again.
When my mother started to have cancer our Christmas started to change. I started to change. I started not to appreciate the joy of being together until she left us.
I never grew up rich. Our Christmas was never about what's on the table but with who - being together!
end of part 1... to be continued
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