A Christmas Carol: My Christmas Past, Present and Future

source: http://artfreaksew16.deviantart.com/art/Christmas-Carol-Poster-design-407320080

Part 1

So this heat made my drowsy eyes unable to succumb to sleep. The temperature adds to the burden of not being able to rest. So here I am left with nothing to do but to combat the atmosphere or think of something better.

In the play "A Christmas Carol" Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by three ghosts: Past, Present and Future. I was able to participate in a production directed by my classmate (King) in high school as our project in English. I was the person in charge of props while the main actor did one hell of a job portraying the role. Impressed until now! It was one of the event in  my young days wherein I can say, I'm proud. Since, I got nothing else to do let me visit the past, present and future. My Christmas Carol!

Christmas Past

We are not rich. Yes, I grew up as an OFW kid. I had the latest and greatest stuff. But my mom kept reminding me, "we are not rich". "We have nothing son!" I got used to this that frankly I got pissed and doubting since everyone is saying that my father has a good and high paying job. Well, yes! I live in a comfortable home with three meals a day. I studied in a public school during my elementary, a seminary in high school and college. But I never felt rich. Perhaps it was just merely the perception of people around us. I worked my butt off just like any regular kid. I got used to a Christmas without my father. Frankly, it was fine. It never bothered me. Mom always filled up his role in the family. There were times when he was there. I remember those. I remember because he would allow us to buy firecrackers for the new year. Mom always said, "No firecrackers if your father is not here, it is not safe". Hmm! Me and third brother would always find a way to buy. The only difference is when "tatay" is around he buys it and we do not spend our Christmas money. 

I miss those Christmas. I miss the whole family being together. My Most memorable of all was when everyone from my mother side spent the Christmas together. I could never forget it. It was fun to see my aunts and cousins. It was fun being a child at that time. Writing about it even makes me smile to this day. It was never the food that I remember but the people, my aunts and uncles drinking being happy with my grandfather and mother. It was the smiles that beamed on their cheeks. Their red faces when they laugh. I know my mother was very happy. I was. It was fun being with relatives. It is something that I definitely want to go back to. 

My Christmas past were never memories of lechon, cakes, etc. What I remember was the smile, the joy and indescribable feeling of warmth in being with your loved ones. It is the joy of being together being one, being a family. 

Looking back, I long for those Christmas. I long to be in the table with my aunts, uncles, grandfather and mother but most specially my mother. How I wish I can visit this part of my past to witness it like a child again. 

When my mother started to have cancer our Christmas started to change. I started to change. I started not to appreciate the joy of being together until she left us. 

I never grew up rich. Our Christmas was never about what's on the table but with who - being together!

end of part 1... to be continued

Ten Decembers in the Call Center Industry

source: https://www.pinterest.com/sharon55408/philippine-history-culture/

No carols, no going around to see the joy that Christmas brings to the Metro. Ten Decembers ago, I was desperate. I needed a high paying job. I heard of the Call Centers. Confidence brought me to the doors of ELJ building in Quezon City. I had to ask my uncle the directions because I did not know anything in Manila or Quezon City to be exact. I was desperate. I was scared of a Christmas with nothing. I endured the recruitment process that went on for a day. In the middle of it all I was asked to comeback for a final interview. Urrrrgh! Tired but still desperate for a high job I was still hopeful. What attracted me the most was the "sign on" bonus of ten thousand pesos only to realize later that I will get it on my first month and not when I literally sign the contract. I passed and was scheduled for training. I was wave 29 of Amazon.com. I was a call center agent. 

Ten Decembers

I sit in a comfortable chair surrounded by a team of sales people on a crunch time to hit their individual quotas. It's a new job. I spent five years with my previous company. That's half of my entire career! But that's a different story! I sit and watch the darkness outside the window. Ten Decembers later, I asked what changed in my life. I am still in this cut throat industry with the desire of being on top consuming me. Maybe the intensity is there. I have people now ready and waiting for the direction that we will take, who to hunt and what to do next. That's a significant change. That's a significant upgrade. 

Ten Decembers

I was in a chair asking people how I can help them. Thinking of the next resolution. Lull moments make me think of the past years when I was at home but no longer can. When my mom would cook a lot of food: sweet, juicy, nice and delicious. No more! I am stuck with a headset on my head taking calls and finding a resolution streamed with unending supply of irritated customers.

"How can I help you?"

"Can you tell me more?"

"Please verify your email address."

"What is your order number?"

"Do you want my supervisor?"

"The previous agent was rude?"

"I am sorry about your experience!"

"Let me help you."

Chanted it like a mantra of a dying person hoping that it would save him. If I could get out then I would. I can't though. Christmas offers a lot of guilt to management prompting them to give you stuff to make you comfortable. Good food in the pantry, free stuff on the floor, the bonus and of course the premium pay. 

Ten Decembers

Teaches you a lot of stuff. Teaches you that the only way for your family to be happy you have to sacrifice. If you want them to have a sense of heaven then you have to be ready to take shit. Accept this if you want to succeed. It is not an easy job. I know because I spent...

Ten Decembers